For the month of February I am reading, Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. It is an excellent book that hits home and really challenges you to consider what it means to be fully alive and aware. From the very first pages I was convicted about emotional eating and challenged myself to really deal with the issue that was bothering me in the first place instead of masking my pain with food. The theme of the book is that the way we eat, the way we think about food and handle ourselves around it is the way we do everything.
"Weight loss is the easy part; anytime you truly listen to your hunger and fullness you lose weight... It's one thing to say you want to stop using food to numb yourself. But slowing down, asking yourself what is actually going on when you want to eat when you aren't hungry- that's going too far"
It's really not about the food. But it's also not not about food. I say this for two reasons. First to encourage you reclaim responsibility of your body and what goes in it, and secondly as a caution. When we eat when we are sad, depressed, angry we are essentially depriving ourselves from truly being alive. we are blocking ourselves from dealing with those emotions and instead turn to food as a balm to ease the wound.
I honestly think that to know yourself truly is to listen to yourself. Take time and pay attention to the way you act when things don't go your way. Pay attention to what you spend your money on, the people you spend your time with and most importantly what you eat. Not only what you eat- but WHY you are eating it.
"We have become so obsessed with getting rid of our obsession, with riding on top of our suffering and ignoring its inherent message, that we lose the pieces of ourselves waiting to be found beneath it. But fixing ourselves is not the same as being ourselves, The real richness of obsession lies in the ineffable stillness, the irrefutable wholeness, that is found in turning toward its source."
Sometimes the easiest thing to do when we are hurting within is to run to food for comfort. Unfortunately when we do that we are cheating ourselves by ignoring the real issue at hand.
So how then do we deal with inextricable loss, depression and pain? Instead of letting food be a temporary fix, you let yourself feel those emotions. Allow yourself to cry, to grieve, to feel as if your heart is falling apart. You pray. You Cry, You get help from friends, and slowly but surely you notice that you are still alive. Feelings are temporal and we can not allow them to control our life or our diet. By dissecting these issues and emotions head-on instead of numbing the pain with oreos or a box of pizza we become stronger wiser and better. Like they say at church, sometimes we have to GO through to GET through:)
"Imagine not being frightened by any feeling. Imagine knowing that nothing will destroy you. That you are beyond any feeling, any state. Bigger than. Vaster than. That there is no reason to use drugs because anything a drug could do would pale in comparison to knowing who you are."
This quote made me want to get up and shout. I think so many times we as women always feel like we are ALWAYS in competition with someone. We subconsciously degrade and devalue ourselves on the the regular. We think, "If only my butt was like so and so, If only I had a better paying job, If only my thighs didn't touch.... Then I would be good enough." This flawed mentality must stop.
Regardless of what we see on TV or what plays on in our personal lives,
we are worthy of love and respect. YOU ARE WORTHY AND DESERVING OF LOVE.
If our goal is to move forward in life we must learn to love ourselves. In order to love yourself, you must first know yourself and the first step to do that is to listen and pay attention. We all have that one thing we run to when we are down. It may not be food, perhaps it's compulsive shopping, or an unhealthy relationship. Whatever the case maybe, we have to stop allowing the expectations of society dictate how we see ourselves and instead run confidently in the direction of our dreams.
